Eating at In-N-Out has always been a religious experience for me, but today, to mix things up when ordering lunch, I tried making my order by number, but not In-N-Out’s traditional #1, #2, or #3 system.
I got myself
a Nahum 1:7
a Revelation 3:20 with cheese
two Proverbs 24:16s
two John 3:16s
and a Chocolate Proverbs 3:5.
“What?!” you ask. “I’m all too aware of In-N-Out’s ‘Secret menu’ and have heard of a 4×4 and even a mythical 20×20, but what is a Nahum 1:7?!”
In-N-Out aficionados have probably noticed that the company prints references to Bible verses with just the book, chapter, and verse on their burger wrappers, fry containers, and on the bottom of their cups, so why not order this way as well?
For those not in-the-know, here’s the “translation” to help make your next meal more religious than it already was:
Products and Bible Verses
Burger and cheeseburger wrappers:
I’ll note a few interesting things:
The verse for the hamburger is about dining together with others – this is always important.
If you substitute the product the wrappers contain for the words “Lord,” “God,” and “Son,” there is certain sense of poetic verisimilitude in the new verses: their shakes apparently have a heavenly thickness, the double-double sounds like it will fill you up, and the sugary sodas will give you everlasting life. I wonder what would happen if we transubstantiated a hamburger bun?
Animal Style Anyone?
Now if only there were a special chapter and verse for getting my burger “animal style!”
Genesis 7:2 perhaps?
This might be far preferable to Exodus 22:19:
But let’s be honest, with all the fat, salt, sugar, and cholesterol in a good-ol’ traditional #1, I’m going to die sooner than later whether it comes animal style or not.
I’m curious how many In-N-Out employees know their product so well that they can take orders this way?